If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
