I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
