I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
