I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
No I am not eating basil off your cock
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize
