Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Randomize