Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
