...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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