hell yes lets make some ravioli
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
