Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I stole a fireplace last night.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
