Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
