I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
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