Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
