he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
where does the pee come out of this thing
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
