brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I'm at about main and main street
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
