How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
