Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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