Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
