Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Life is so much better after having sex.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
