My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
The air taste purple.
Randomize