Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Randomize
