i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
