on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
