And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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