I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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