Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize