Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
