I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Randomize
