Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Success! We fucked roommates!
Randomize
