NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
