After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
