absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
