Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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