what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
