You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
