Just fell off a train. Bad.
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
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