rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
