never play flip cup with pint glasses
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
