so explain again why im purple
no
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
you win again, gameday.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
