he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize