i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Randomize
