dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
