Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
