Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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