so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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