So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Randomize
