i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
So vagazzling was a success
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
