You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
