guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
