Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize