I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize