STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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