I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
they need to just BURY HIM!
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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