Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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