Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
So much rum. So many feels.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize
