doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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