You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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