She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
