If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
