There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
