at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
