O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
