my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize
