how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
