Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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