what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
