Where is the hickey?
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
So much Jack, so little girl.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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