it was like his penis was on wheels.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
