As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
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