hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
