shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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