It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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