Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
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